Reclaiming Identity: A Photographer's Journey through Postnatal Depression

After giving birth, photographer Dola Posh faced an identity crisis and severe postnatal depression during the pandemic. Through self-portraiture, she documented her struggles and shared her journey to recovery, aiming to break the stigma around mental health, particularly for Black mothers.

Dola Posh is a multifaceted individual—photographer, Nigerian, Briton, and mother. Yet, following the birth of her daughter, she found herself grappling with a loss of identity. Just six days postpartum and amidst a lockdown, Dola lay in an English hospital, overwhelmed by life’s changes and uncertain whether she would be able to return to her passion for photography. The situation was exacerbated by constant calls from family, unable to visit her due to restrictions, and her mother living thousands of miles away in Lagos.

Struggling with the pressure of expectations, Dola reflected, “I’m me; the baby’s out, I’m still me. But no, I wasn’t me any more.” The experience was the beginning of her battle with postnatal depression—a condition that disproportionately affects Black women, particularly during transitions into motherhood. Although she didn’t initially recognize it, Dola was beginning to understand that her feelings stemmed from this very struggle.

Once she returned home from the hospital, Dola was bombarded with unsolicited advice on motherhood, which left her feeling inadequate and detached from her role as a parent. She recalls feeling like a "zombie" due to sleep deprivation and isolation. The weight of her circumstances led her to a dark place, and one night, a voice urged her to take her own life. Clinging to her baby, Monioluwa, Dola made a midnight call to her health visitor, which proved pivotal in her journey.

Encouraged to seek therapy, Dola found solace by turning her camera on herself. She began creating a portfolio of self-portraits with Monioluwa, reflecting on the representation of mothers and children in art. Dola’s upbringing in a religious household had ingrained the imagery of Mary and Jesus deeply within her subconscious, influencing her artistic compositions.

The veil she wore, part of her cultural and religious identity, took on new significance in her photography, helping her feel a connection to her roots and family. This project aided Dola in exploring and expressing her emotions surrounding motherhood and postnatal depression.

By sharing her experiences, she aimed to dismantle the shame associated with mental health struggles and illuminated the complexities of motherhood. Earlier this year, her work gained recognition when she received an award from camera company Leica to expand her series, empowering more women, especially within the Black community, to have open conversations about postnatal depression.

Dola’s goal is to create a world where Black mothers do not feel isolated and overwhelmed, and to showcase their stories in media. "It’s new for a woman to stand there and say: 'I almost ended my life. I’m not ashamed of it. I am still an artist, I am still a woman and I have something to say,'" she asserts, marking her resilience in the face of adversity.