With a gender gap favoring men by 30 million in China, a dating camp led by coach Hao addresses the challenges faced by unattached males from lower social classes. The documentary "The Dating Game" explores their journey of self-improvement and connection, revealing broader themes of loneliness and societal expectations.
Bridging the Love Gap: China's Surplus Single Men Seek Connection

Bridging the Love Gap: China's Surplus Single Men Seek Connection
A new documentary sheds light on the struggles of millions of single men in China navigating the dating landscape against societal pressures and gender imbalances.
China faces a profound demographic crisis with a startling surplus of single men—approximately 30 million more males than females—leaving many unattached men grappling with societal pressures to find wives. The situation is particularly challenging for those from lower socioeconomic backgrounds, as highlighted by dating coach Hao, who has worked with over 3,000 clients.
The documentary "The Dating Game," directed by Violet Du Feng, delves into the lives of men like Li, Wu, and Zhou, who are all seeking companionship. Originating from poorer, rural roots, these men have grown up in a post-90s China, where the consequences of the one-child policy created a severe gender imbalance. Traditional preferences for male children have resulted in the abandonment and harsh treatment of females, thus exacerbating the current dating dilemma.
Hao, a successful dating coach and now a mentor to these hopeful clients, offers a week-long intensive course aimed at transforming their approach to dating. The film showcases moments of transformation as these men undergo makeovers, receive coaching in flirting techniques, and practice approaching women in crowded urban settings. Yet, the process exposes deeper insecurities and ethical tensions as they grapple with portraying a more appealing version of themselves online—something Zhou admits feels disingenuous.
Dr. Zheng Mu, a sociologist, emphasizes the societal weight carried by these men, noting that singlehood often results in a perceived failure in life's expectations, adding to their emotional burdens. Financial constraints also loom large, with many men like Zhou lamenting the high costs associated with dating, which can stretch their limited incomes significantly.
While the documentary highlights the struggles of heterosexual relationships, it notably neglects the experiences of gay men in China amid a culture that largely promotes heteronormativity. Despite these challenges, there's a rise in the digital dating realm, with many women turning to virtual boyfriends, leading to discussions around the emotional and social costs of real-life interactions.
Through humor and candid reflection, "The Dating Game" invites its audience to contemplate modern loneliness as a universal experience. By the film's end, the journey of self-discovery for both the men and their mentor, Hao, emerges as a poignant narrative about hope and human connection amidst societal chaos.
The film "The Dating Game" opens in selected UK cinemas this autumn, promising to spark conversations about love, relationships, and self-acceptance in a rapidly changing social landscape.